Self love is a favorite topic in the manifesting community, along with self concept. Yet there seems to be some confusion over what self love actually refers to and even more so, how you practice it. Beyond that, there is the ever ongoing debate about whether self love is actually needed to manifest your desires or if it is something that is purely pursued for self improvement, but has nothing to do with conscious manifestation. In this post, we are going to attempt to tackle these questions and give some clarity.
What is self love? Self love is not to be confused with self care, such as treating yourself to a spa, massage, pedicure, or taking yourself out on a date, although self care is definitely a part of self love – and an important one at that. It is also not to be confused with arrogance, a sense of self significance over others, or a self concept of others not deserving you and needing to beg for your attention because you are so much better than them. Self confidence and feeling secure in yourself are essential for self development, but arrogance is actually nothing more than insecurity in disguise. Self love though is much broader and encompassing of many more things than just self care, confidence, or security in self. I would actually argue that these terrific traits are the result and byproduct of practicing self love in the first place, but not its definition. Self love is synonymous with unconditional self acceptance, as well as belief and trust in oneself.
Self acceptance means that you embrace the concept of your wholeness and perfection at all times while recognizing your human imperfections and forgiving yourself for these. It means realizing that you are whole and perfect just as you are by virtue of having being born in this world as a human by God’s will. This alone means that there is nothing else needed for you to be perfect and whole. No fixing anything, no healing anything, no intervening in anything, no beating yourself up, no putting in effort – you are already perfect, whole, and complete right now, in this moment, just as you are. You always have been and you always will be. This does not mean that doing inner work and pursuing self development is wrong or unnecessary, but you recognize that it is something you do in order to expand your consciousness and ultimately find it easier to realize and embrace the perfection you already are, but not something you need to do in order to bring about that perfection in yourself. This also means that you accept and trust that you are in the perfect place in your life journey at any given time and that you don’t blame yourself for not being “further along” where your ego mind thinks you should be. It means that you shed all guilt, fear, doubt, and self reproach and that you believe in your power to bring about any change you desire in your life and trust yourself to have all the answers within – and this is all by virtue of being born, not something to try to attain or to strive for. Now, since we are all human, we of course have flaws – or at least what we perceive as flaws. We may feel we don’t have the perfect skin, the perfect body, the perfect confidence, the perfect sense of self worth, the perfect skills to succeed in what we want etc. – the list is endless. Self love doesn’t care about any of this. Self love embraces all perceived imperfections and still sees perfection and wholeness no matter what. If you can make remembering and reinforcing this within yourself a daily practice, you will soon start to feel a difference in how you feel about yourself, others, your circumstances, and the world at large. And the confidence, self acceptance, security in self, and desire to take care of yourself will come automatically, along with many other wonderful things.
The question of whether self love is needed to manifest your desires or not is a “hot topic” with many coaches having differing opinions about it. In my point of view, this is a false dilemma of sorts. Here’s why: you don’t actually “need” anything to manifest. Your desires are automatically manifested and the bridge of incidents becomes activated the moment you conceive of a desire. Yes, there are things that can delay these bridges from fully materializing and make them take a more roundabout way. But ultimately, the manifestation of your desires is inevitable, even if it becomes significantly delayed along the way for all the different reasons that are beyond the scope of this post. That being said, a lack of self love – in the form of accepting, believing in, and trusting in yourself as detailed above – is sure to be one of the main factors – if not the most significant one – to delay your desires from becoming manifest in the 3D world, or bringing about incomplete, partial manifestations, or a lot of hot and cold results. You may also find that your manifestation is inconsistent, where you can’t seem to fully keep it in your life, or it manifests in ways that you don’t prefer. The reason is simple: if you don’t believe in yourself and your power, if you don’t trust your inner being to be wise and limitless, and if you don’t maintain the feeling of knowing yourself as perfect and complete no matter what the 3D reality may be mirroring, you are going to be filled with doubt, anxiety, insecurities, fears, and all those unproductive feelings that disturb our inner balance. This is exactly what gives rise to the unwanted or incomplete results I just mentioned since this is where you dominantly put your energy. It does not mean that your desires will not ultimately manifest, but it may be a much longer, more painful, and much less direct way than otherwise, and if the lack of self love continues, it may be mixed with other unwanted results and may never feel quite complete.
Since what we teach on this website is simpler, easier, faster, more effortless ways to manifest our desires, self love as described in this post is essential for a general sense of wellbeing. And having a dominant sense of wellbeing and inner balance is the surest way to bring about your desired outcomes fast and easy, in a way that is effortless, feels natural, is consistent, and actually feels very rewarding. So I would urge everyone to prioritize deepening your self love practice on a daily basis with the main goal of feeling well, balanced, and content within. The results are sure to follow and may be even better than you could have ever imagined.