There is a lot of talk in the manifesting community about how only we (the manifestor) should be on the pedestal and how everything and everyone else – including and especially our specific person – should be off the pedestal. While there is some truth to that, my opinion and experience on this is slightly different. Let me explain.
When manifesting any desire into our 3D reality, putting the desire on a pedestal will more often than not delay the manifestation due to the resistance it creates. This is because the message we automatically give our subconscious is that this desire is hard to manifest, that it should be more difficult than normal, and that we do not have our desire right now. As we know, our subconscious will accept whatever suggestion we give it and bring it into our reality, slowing things down, and manifesting doubts and obstacles instead of our actual desire. This goes for any and all manifestations and of course this includes specific person manifestations.
All that being said, there is a fine line between keeping someone off the pedestal and putting ourselves so high up the pedestal that we end up belittling and underestimating everything and everyone else by stating or thinking things like, “they don’t deserve me”, “I am so much better than them”, “they should be begging to have me” etc. While a healthy self concept and strong confidence in self are essential tools to fast and effortless manifesting, we don’t want to be crossing over to pride, arrogance, or conceit. And I’m not saying this for any moral reason, but rather from a manifesting point of view and again from the point of view of the story we tell our subconscious in relation to our desire. Assuming our desire is to manifest a beautiful, loving relationship with our specific person, saying that we deserve better, that we are better than them, or that they should be begging for our attention gives our subconscious the message that we are actually not being treated the way we want to be treated by our specific person and that the relationship is actually not what we want and deserve, hence missing the mark of living in the state of the wish fulfilled. Looking at both states more closely – the one where your specific person is on a pedestal and feels out of reach, and the one where you feel so high up the pedestal that you start feeling your specific person doesn’t deserve you – are the opposite sides of the same coin called “the ego”. Both states are ego-driven and lack-driven – in the first case you find yourself lacking in relation to your specific person, while in the second case you find your specific person lacking in relation to you. The ego loves to create friction by comparison. I completely understand how it can feel empowering to lift yourself up and no longer feel desperate and helpless when it comes to having your person – and by all means, do that, empower, trust and believe in yourself – but I would urge caution in getting too far off the opposite side for the reasons already explained.
What, then, is the answer? Where is the balance to be found? The answer is: love. Love yourself and love your specific person if what you want is to get love back. If you are manifesting love with them after all, it makes perfect sense to project love out so that you get love reflected back to you, doesn’t it? You love yourself through unconditional self acceptance and through absolute trust in yourself to have all the answers, to know what to do and how to manifest every desire given to you, and to believe yourself to be powerful, beautiful, magnetic, loved, wanted, desired, and appreciated at all times by everyone in your life. When it comes to your specific person, you love them by accepting them and trusting them to be able, capable and willing to be the best version of themselves to you and for you. You know that you deserve it and you accept that they deserve and desire this loving relationship too that will bring out the best in them.
The added effect manifesting through love and trust has is that you actually lose all this unhealthy attachment to your desire that you may have. You create a healthy detachment by getting into the state of knowing that all is well, that you are loved and wanted, that you already have what you want and that it is possible for you. You lose all this ego resistance, the feeling becomes more natural until one day it becomes inner knowledge, and this is when things in the outside world begin to move in your favor. You no longer stress, worry, or doubt yourself excessively, you don’t get too caught up in circumstances, and you go about living and enjoying your life without obsessing over this one desire. A win-win on all fronts.
So every time you are temped by the ego to create unfavorable stories about your specific person (or anyone else for that matter) that involve you being on a high pedestal and everyone else undeserving of your love and attention, don’t take the bait. Remember what you are truly manifesting into your life – love, fulfillment, acceptance, respect – and choose love instead in order to see it mirrored back to you. Love for yourself and love for any specific person whose love you want to bring into your life.